talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
