ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
