I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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