at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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