just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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