On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
