Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize