you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
