You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
