Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize