I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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