Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
