We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
