Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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