i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
