I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize