She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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