she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
