I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
