I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
