i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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