What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
