What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
