i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
