Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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