xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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