found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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