I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
