i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
