giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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