And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
