Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
