hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Randomize
