GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
