just survived the first fart of the relationship.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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