Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Green mimosas i think yes
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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