you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
