I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
