Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
