You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
