dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Randomize
