I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
