So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Can you bring me the toilet please
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
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