I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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