you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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