I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
