i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
