I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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