Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
