I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
My bed smells like the plague
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
