people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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