He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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