I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
