sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
