What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
