so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
