I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
