Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
