you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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