I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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