just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
should my penis look like a turkey
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize