I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
